


Énouement

by dwaekki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwaekki/pseuds/dwaekki
Summary: "The truth is, you're right, Minho. You've known me for years, and I haven't had a single crush in that time. But, that's only because the one crush I've ever had in my life developed long before I met you — any of you — and I fell in love with that person a little while before we knew each other. So, for the past, what? five? years, I've been out-of-my-mind in love with someone."
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110





	Énouement

**Author's Note:**

> _Be Calm -Hwasa_

Changbin reclined on a familiar couch with the love of his life splayed across his lap. The couch was warm after how long it had been occupied, and Han Jisung was still with sleep. Changbin was comfortable. . . content. . . pleased. . . _worried_ —

"Oh!" Jisung's mother startled a bit at the scene, and Changbin immediately apologized (though his "sorry, Jihyun" didn't reach above a whisper), to which the woman smiled, and shook her head dismissively. It must have been a shock, Changbin thought, for Jihyun to see him sitting there with her son curled up on his lap, but Changbin highly doubted that she would mind. Changbin was there all the time — under different circumstances, granted. He wasn't sure how much Jihyun could see, with all the lights off, a late-night-fading-into-early-morning darkness settled over the room with only the soft, changing lights of Jisung's electric candles to break it, but if she could see the details of the scene— the way Jisung gripped Changbin's hand in his sleep, and the way her son's eyebrows were dipped with dream-induced frustration— she didn't comment on them, and she still didn't mind Changbin's presence. She only approached the two boys softly leaned forward a bit, looking at her son closely. She asked Changbin, "Is he alright?" and smiled sadly when Changbin said "he will be."

"Thank you for taking care of him." Jihyun said softly. She walked through the room, kissed Changbin's forehead, and then leaned toward her son, stroking his cheek. She sighed, "He's been so upset lately," and kissed his forehead. She pat Changbin's shoulder, a soft smile on her lips, "Really, Changbin, thank you. I've been so worried for him, and he's so much happier with you around."

Changbin didn't know what to say; his nod seemed to suffice, though he would have liked to give Jihyun a verbal response after her extended expression of gratitude. She was preoccupied by Jisung anyhow; anything Changbin could have said would have only interrupted the few more moments she spent looking at her son. Changbin wanted to know what she was thinking; he wanted to know if he was as worried as she was. He wanted to know if she felt guilty for leaving Jisung to use the restroom and go back to bed, and if she was only okay doing so because Changbin was there with him. Changbin thought about all the times he felt guilty for leaving Jisung to attend his own life events, and he wondered if he was right to feel that way.

Changbin spoke to Jisung to make himself feel better, his fingers replacing Jihyun's, which had been traveling through Jisung's hair for the brief minutes Jihyun had spent in front of her son. Changbin asked, "You'll be alright, Jisung, won't you?"

The silence left Changbin to interpret the answer. As of right then, he couldn't, but he believed what he had told Jihyun. Jisung would be just fine.

-

♡

-

"So you're not into the hyper kid Chan-hyung brought around," Minho said. He was almost difficult to understand, openly munching on popcorn the way he was, but Jisung didn't even have to catch most of the sentence to identify, "Felix," and answer, though there was no influx of Minho's voice to assume his sentence was a question, "No."

"And you're not into the kid from music class."

Minho wasn't letting this go. Jisung wasn't sure why he expected him to. "Jeongin. No."

"And you're not into Seungmin."

Jisung looked at him, incredulous, "He's Hyunjin's!"

Minho ignored him, sitting up a bit, "And you're not into _me_ , so who are you into?"

"No one." Jisung muttered. Minho's mouth went quiet, but his expression spoke volumes. Jisung reached over for a handful of his popcorn and got through eating the whole thing before Minho said anything else.

"I just think it's weird that you've never shown interest in anyone." Minho said, and he immediately went back on his statement, "Not weird. It surprises me— because we always talk about romance and crushes and stuff."

"No we don't."

"Not just the two of us. Everyone else, too," Minho referenced the rest of their friends— Felix and Jeongin, Changbin, Seungmin, and Hyunjin. He might even be talking about Chan. They had talked about love and every term under its umbrella when those two were around before. Minho used to have a crush on Chan, he admitted. Everyone used to have a crush on Chan. (Jisung didn't. "You're joking," Minho had said, gesturing to Chan, who was sitting about five feet away, blushing at all the attention, "He's _Chan_ ;" but Jisung's love for him had never been anything but brotherly.)

"I've never wanted to be with someone before." Jisung said, finally picking up a grape when his gaze dropped to his bowl. He popped it into his mouth and was all too conscious of the way it broke beneath his teeth; Minho was oddly silent.

"Really?" Minho asked when Jisung looked again. Jisung's shoulders dropped, "Does it matter?"

"I don't know." Minho said. He shrugged to emphasize his doubt, and told Jisung, "You just.... I guess you of all people deserve someone to love, you know? Not to say I'm worried, I'm just... confused. The amount of people that must have been in love with you...."

Jisung frowned. "What?"

"Nothing." Minho said, reaching over to steal a grape from Jisung's tray. "I'll tell you who I'm into, then. There's this boy from my Statistics class...."

-

♡

-

"You seeing Jisung today?" Chan asked. Changbin finished tying his shoe before he answered—and he answered with a shrug, "I hope so. I didn't see him at lunch; I think he spent it with Minho."

"I hope you didn't take it to heart." Chan said. It was a statement, but his voice was cautious and curious, and Changbin answered with a light-hearted scoff, "Of course I didn't. He has other friends."

"I bet he missed your presence, though. I heard Minho's been grilling him about his love life lately." Chan said. Changbin rolled his eyes; Minho got pretty intense when it came to romance, even when it wasn't his own. It wasn't a bad trait, though; whoever settled into a relationship with Minho would be treated well. Very well.

"I feel bad. Jisung never has anything to tell him." Changbin said, and Chan shrugged, "You could change that, though."

"Oh, please." Changbin rolled his eyes. He stooped to pick up a basketball, handed it off to Chan, "We have tryouts to focus on."

"And let's focus well." Chan said, patting Changbin's shoulder. "Let's get you some good news to tell Jisung later."

-

♡

-

"Hi, grandma." Jisung greeted as he walked into the woman's house. She peeked around her chair and happily held her arms out for Jisung, who went to her hug immediately. She wasn't expecting him today, and Jisung apologized for not warning her of his arrival in advance, though he knew he didn't owe it to her; she would never mind Jisung's visiting unannounced. She'd be lonely otherwise, with her husband and her best friend dead for longer than she had even known Jisung.

"How are you, sweetheart?" she asked. Jisung took a seat and told her all about his day, and she adored listening to her grandson talk. She followed along and asked about his friends — oh, Minho? You spent lunch with him? How is he doing? You should invite him over tonight, I'd love to see him.

"Actually, grandma, can I invite Minho over next time? I kind of want to see Changbin tonight."

"Changbin! Oh, Changbin is wonderful. He's your mother's favorite, you know. Please, do invite him over. I'll peek into the fridge and see what we can make for dinner tonight. I might just have enough ingredients for one of your grandfather's recipes."

Jisung called Changbin while his grandmother shuffled into the kitchen. He heard the refrigerator open, and then his focus was on Changbin, who answered with "I was about to call you."

"For what?" Jisung asked. Changbin huffed, "I didn't see you today. Is everything okay? I'm just leaving for your house."

"I'm with grandma." Jisung said. Changbin was silent for a moment, and Jisung laughed as he imagined Changbin stopping, turning on his heel, and heading the other way.

"I was going to invite you for dinner anyway. I missed you today."

"Corny," Changbin commented, "but I missed you too."

"How did tryouts go?"

"Same old. Didn't make it. Maybe next year." Changbin said. Jisung didn't miss the hurt in his voice, but it was overshadowed by the excitement, "Chan made it, though. Again. Of course. Felix made it this time, too. We can both get free tickets."

"Our tradition," Jisung whined, as if he was upset it was broken. The two of them would take turns buying tickets for the basketball games, because Chan could only ever get two free tickets, and one automatically went to his father. Sometimes, both tickets went to his family, as his mother occasionally sent his brother over on the weekends so the siblings could see each other. Jisung and Changbin could only hope Chan's little brother didn't show up on weekends when it was their turn to pay, as they'd end up paying for both the tickets. (Once, when they were both low on money, they scrounged it together to get two pizzas — one for the parlor, where they had dinner together, and one to bring to Chan and his family after the game. Chan forgave them for not coming, but only because they remembered to order olives on half of the pizza.)

"Felix will probably give his tickets to Seungmin and Jeongin, sometimes." Changbin said. Jisung laughed, "Or most of the time. You know how easy it is for Jeongin to convince people to hand things over to him."

"Maybe he'll give us one of the extra tickets if we're extra nice to him."

"Maybe Seungmin will convince you to buy his ticket, then."

"Maybe we're going to be stuck with our tradition, after all. Unless the coach finally did up the free ticket amount per player to three."

"I doubt it. If he didn't let you on this team this year, he clearly hasn't gotten any smarter."

Changbin laughed hollowly, and muttered, "Yeah," and Jisung quickly changed the subject, "How far are you? I want a hug."

"So suddenly?" Changbin asked. His laugh lasted a moment, fading for Jisung to have enough volume to speak, but Changbin took over when Jisung didn't, "I'm down the street. Meet me outside, so you can have your hug quicker."

"Okay." Jisung said. He hung up — probably quite unexpectedly to Changbin, but he'd see Jisung within a moment anyway. Jisung put his phone down, let his grandmother know he was stepping outside to greet Changbin, and went, hesitating by the door for a moment as he decided whether he wanted his sneakers or his sandals. He was wearing his socks, still, so he slipped his feet into his sneakers, and out he went. No coat, thin shirt; he shivered as soon as the air hit him, and he jogged down the steps to run to Changbin, who was just walking up onto Jisung's lawn.

"Whoa—hey." Changbin said, holding Jisung as quickly as Jisung had run to him. Jisung shivered and laughed, slipping his arms around Changbin, hiding them under the older's coat. Changbin caught on and gripped the front of his coat, wrapping as much of the fabric around Jisung as he could.

"Idiot," Changbin said fondly, "Where's your jacket?"

Jisung stepped away — regretted it, but didn't gravitate back, "Inside. I want it, now. Come on."

"You won't need it in there." Changbin laughed. He followed Jisung onto the porch and into his grandmother's house. They kicked off their shoes together and organized them neatly by the door, and Jisung took Changbin into the kitchen to see his grandmother. She was already hard at work, setting vegetables out on the counter and playing a funny show from the television above the microwave. She greeted Changbin with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Hello, darling! I've missed having you around here with my boy. How are you doing?"

"I'm well, and you?" Changbin asked, moving fluidly to wash his hands, pick up a knife and a cutting board, and sit with the woman. Jisung followed his steps, though he shared the large cutting board with Changbin. They cut fruits together, and Jisung gathered all of the fruit into a bowl as the woman spoke to the two of them about school, and they answered all the questions and curiosities she came up with.

Dinner ended up being four hours long, cooking, consuming, and cleaning included. Changbin was left with an hour of daylight to walk home; Jisung was left with two (maybe three) hours of energy to do his assignments. However, the two boys stood in the living room of Jisung's grandmother— the woman having gone to bed several minutes ago— holding each other as time ticked by, and they didn't care.

-

♡

-

Changbin wasn't soaking wet when he snuck through Jisung's window. The rain wasn't coming down hard; in fact, it couldn't even be heard through the open window unless a listener was concentrating on it. Changbin shut the window anyway— wouldn't risk Jisung getting sick, or himself getting caught. He doubted, after Jisung's mother caught him holding her son on the couch at 2 a.m., that his presence would be received negatively, but he still would rather not get caught.

Jisung stirred when Changbin closed his window. Changbin was quick to go to him, and he announced himself to kill any fear in the boy. Jisung sat up in bed for a moment, rubbing his eyes. There was no alarm to him, and Changbin was glad he didn't scare Jisung. He was nervous, though, that Jisung didn't want him there. It _was_ nearly three o'clock, and the sun would rise in a few hours. Changbin shouldn't even be awake, much less at Jisung's house, disturbing his sleep as well.

"What are you doing here?" Jisung asked eventually, turning to lean on both elbows instead of one. He looked cute, Changbin thought. His hair was a mess, and he could only truly force one eye to (barely) open. Changbin sat on Jisung's bed and told him, "I missed you."

"You must be obsessed with me if you miss me already. We saw each other— what? seven?— hours ago." Jisung said. He wasn't upset.

"I'll sing you back to sleep." Changbin offered. Jisung just made a noise—a small huff of breath as he moved over, taking the cold side of the bed for Changbin. It wasn't necessary, and, if Jisung wasn't so sleepy, Changbin would tell him to move back. Jisung settled rather quickly, though, and Changbin joined him under the covers as soon as he had kicked his shoes off. He held Jisung, and Jisung asked, "Where's my singing?"

Changbin wasn't a singer, but he sang for Jisung. He sang to him for five minutes, until light snores were falling from Jisung's mouth, and Changbin was sure he was asleep. It was then that Changbin pulled out his phone and messaged Chan.

_you were right_

_I was right, too_

_I'm in love with him_

-

♡

-

"You _have_ to be into someone!" Minho said. Chan reached for his flailing arms, "Minho, stop. You're so exhausting, you know that?" Chan asked, an eye roll pointed in Minho's direction. He pulled Jisung a little closer to him, but nothing would shield him from Minho's nosiness, "I've known you for _years_ , Jisung, and you've _never_ had a crush."

Chan went to say something, but Jisung stopped him. He felt this overwhelming rush of feelings; he was in a safe space, and his best friends— save Changbin— were next to him. He had this secret bottled in his mind, and he suddenly felt like he could say it — release it into the air, make it real, "Do you want to know the truth?

"The truth is, you're right, Minho. You've known me for years, and I haven't had a single crush in that time. But, that's only because the one crush I've ever had in my life developed long before I met you — any of you — and I fell in love with that person a little while before we knew each other. So, for the past, what? five? years, I've been out-of-my-mind in love with someone."

Chan and Minho both seemed shocked. Minho dove into questions right away, though: "Who is it? Do I know them? Jisung, why did you never tell me?" but Chan stopped him, because he could tell Jisung wasn't done. Jisung expressed just a bit more of his feelings regarding his love, "I feel like I'll never love someone more than I love him, but that's okay. I don't think I'll ever lose him, either. I don't plan on letting him go."

"Does he know?" Chan asked gently. Jisung shook his head. "Are you going to tell him?" and Jisung shook his head. "Why not?" and Jisung, again, shook his head.

"That's not an answer, babe." Minho said. Jisung shrugged, "I don't think I need to. I love our relationship. I.. would love to be with him, but, honestly? I'm a coward. I'd rather hold onto what I have for as long as I can. I don't like to gamble. Not with people. Not with _him_."

"I get that," Chan said, and Minho nodded along. Chan gently asked, "Can I ask you one more question, Jisung?" and Jisung agreed to let him. He knew it was coming; he knew it because Chan was cautious with his request and hesitant to ask even after Jisung told him it was okay. Jisung braced himself, and his heart sunk a bit when Changbin's name fell out of Chan's mouth.

_Is it Changbin?_

Whether or not Jisung answered the question, the three men in the room would know. He chose to nod, and left it at that.

-

♡

-

"Changbin. I know the last time you made the offer was maybe a month ago, but I think I'm ready to try to tell you how I'm feeling."

Changbin didn't think he'd ever been more alert in his life. He leaned forward, elbows against his knees, and he concentrated on Jisung. The younger boy was leaning against his headboard (for once, they were at Changbin's house instead of his own, or his grandmother’s) and it was Friday-evening-bordering-Saturday-morning. Jisung looked at Changbin, and looked away. He asked, "Can we lay down? I want you to hold me."

Moments later, the two boys were settled just how Jisung wanted them. Changbin was on his back, and most of Jisung's upper body was draped over his chest. He was holding one of Changbin's arms, playing with his short sleeve. It just barely reached the middle of Changbin's bicep, and it was the perfect spot for Jisung to be tugging and stretching it. He always had to occupy his hands when he was talking about something he didn't necessarily want to be speaking about. That's why he held and twirled pens during presentations.

"I think I'm really, _really_ scared for the future." Jisung said, pretending to cut Changbin's sleeve with his finger-scissors. Similar to Jisung, Changbin had to have something to look at when he was listening to some speech or rant (though Changbin wasn't sure what Jisung was saying was either one of those things). This was perfect, for the two of them; Changbin often got caught up looking at Jisung's hands when Jisung was presenting something, or telling him a story. Otherwise, Changbin was staring at Jisung's lips. Jisung never noticed.

"I don't think I like university. I don't like it at all, and going through it is making me _so_ exhausted." Jisung said, "But... I don't know what else to do right now. I don't really know what I want to be. I know I like music, but I don't know if I'd be dedicated enough to go through with learning it for however many more years, and then doing it for the rest of my life. I'm really, _really_ scared, Changbin. I've always wanted to do music, and now I'm so unsure of myself. I don't feel like I know myself anymore."

Jisung's finger-scissors were really going at Changbin's sleeve, except they were shaking now, and Jisung's shoulders had begun to tremble a bit, too. Changbin knew Jisung to always wish he could see into the future. He'd had too many moments in the past of thinking nothing would be okay, seeing everything turned out just fine, and wishing he could go back to tell himself—just so he didn't have to interrupt his daily life worrying and worrying. _Énouement_.

"Hey." Changbin called Jisung softly, rubbing a hand over his hip in comfort. It wasn't much, what he said, but it was enough for Jisung to calm and doze off after some more moments of nervous laughter and stillness: "You'll be okay. We both will."

(Jisung had a lot he wanted to say as he drifted off. _I like when you say things like that, Changbin — when you say_ we _, and include yourself in my comfort. It makes me feel like I'm not alone— like you understand— like you're here for me— like you always will be. Thank you. I love you_. He didn't say any of it, but it wasn't the first time he had thought it, and he hadn't been as tired the other times he felt those things about Changbin. Jisung just hoped Changbin remembered and clung to the times he had spoken his emotions, the way Jisung often did when Changbin expressed himself.)

-

♡

-

 _Boy's night_ , Minho had stupidly called it. Jisung made fun of him for the name, but he appreciated that Minho (with the help of Chan, of course) had thrown this little gathering together. Jisung was happy to see all of his friends in the same place — those seven boys he loved, and that one boy he adored. He was also happy when Felix clung to his waist throughout the night, telling him wild stories about his three-week study abroad trip and _begging_ Jisung to come with him to Thailand one day. Jisung promised, and he was about to ask a question to keep the conversation going, but Minho called for Jisung and Felix to join everyone else on the floor so they could all tell stories and probably play some stupid game that one of them invented on the spot. (It was usually Hyunjin who came up with the idea. He once created a complicated name game; every time Jisung did something in particular, assigned by Hyunjin, Changbin had to say his name. Every time _Felix_ did something in particular, also assigned by Hyunjin, Jisung had to say his name. It was like that for everyone; each person had someone else assigned to watch for their habits. It was a messy game of names being thrown everywhere and everyone trying to figure out what their habit was. At the end of the night, everyone discovered something new about themselves— like Jisung stuffed his cheeks when he ate, which wasn't a common habit among his friends, and Felix often rolled his eyes when he had a hard time phrasing a sentence. Felix whined that that didn't count as a habit— everyone did that when they were recalling things. Hyunjin said yes, that's true, but Felix did it a lot. Minho also complained that Hyunjin choosing his habit of _blinking_ was also mean and something _everyone_ did, but all the boys were against him on that one; Minho had this habit of blinking slowly but constantly when he was confused or simply didn't know how to react to something. Jisung kind of wanted to play that game—just to see what other habits Hyunjin had picked up on.)

"It's been a _month_ since I've seen you," Hyunjin said, claiming Jisung's attention. He pulled Jisung to sit next to him, and he draped an arm over Jisung's shoulder, "How have you been?"

"Good." Jisung lied. He hadn't been _bad_ , necessarily, but he had that suffocating pressure of _are you dedicated enough to music to make it your life?_ on his chest. He was honestly very stressed out about the future, but he didn't want to admit that in this circle of his friends. He had already told Changbin— and, recently, he told Minho _and_ Chan that he was in love with Changbin. That was enough confession for him for a long time to come.

"How have you been?" Jisung asked after an awkward beat of silence. His answer had been too brief for Hyunjin; Jisung could see it on his face. Hyunjin opened his mouth, whether to answer Jisung or urge him to tell more, but Minho called the attention of everyone, now that they were all sitting, all settled. Minho had this huge grin in his face, like he was up to something — but he wasn't. Instead, he held up an open envelope that Jisung hadn't noticed in his lap, and he announced, "I got into the dance academy I applied for."

The response was an uproar of shock and cheers — of Felix tackling him in a hug and Hyunjin yelling about how he _knew_ Minho could do it. Jisung's mind got lost in all the cheering; he felt so detached yet so _there_ . Minho was doing something with his life, and Jisung was so happy for him. There was still that ever-present _pressure_ , though, for Jisung to _just figure it out already_ , as well as a brief moment of self-hate for getting caught up thinking about himself when his best friend had accomplished something so incredible.

A hand slipped around Jisung's, and Changbin was next to him suddenly — had shifted into Felix's spot after Felix had shot up to hug Minho. Changbin gave Jisung a knowing look, and a comforting smile. Jisung appreciated him so much — _so much_. He felt a surge of emotions; he was back in the moment, and his friends were cheering, and he had Changbin. Minho was doing something great with his life, and he was so proud of his best friend. The overwhelming happiness after the brief wave of anxiety made Jisung feel like he could cry, but he didn't. He just held Changbin, and he started yelling praise and congratulations with the rest of the group, and he felt okay.

-

♡

-

"I can't believe we're halfway through the season already. That means winter break is going to hit us any _second_ ." Changbin said, carefully following Jisung up the bleachers with their sodas. Jisung never liked to sit too far up, but he didn't like to sit too close, either, fearing a basketball might come flying toward him and he wouldn't react in time. (Changbin recalled the time that _actually happened_ , except Changbin was paying attention to the court and smacked it out of the way before it could break Jisung's glasses. Jisung was endlessly grateful for Changbin's reflexes, but he didn't want to have to rely on them again.)

"I'm excited. Grandma said she wouldn't mind having you over for Christmas dinner, and that she'd let you steal me for New Year's." Jisung said, sitting and temporarily looking up at Changbin as he just stood there, shocked. Jisung's grandmother _never_ let him go for the holidays, and strongly preferred to stay within the family for celebrations, even if it was only her, Jisung, and Jihyun now.

"Really?" Changbin asked, finally getting over the initial shock and sitting down. Jisung nodded, excited, "She said you're like family now, and she'd love to have you this year — if your mom's okay with it, of course."

"My mom and dad love any alone time they can get." Changbin said. "As long as I'm there in the morning, I can leave for the next week."

"Would they want me for New Year's?"

"More than anything."

Jisung beamed, "Call."

Changbin could hardly focus on the game, so caught up on everything he and Jisung could do over winter break. He was careful to bite his tongue to let Jisung focus on the game, at least, but he found his eyes trailing to the boy next to him more frequently than they would focus on the game.

 _Wow_ , Changbin thought. _I’m so stupidly in love_.

-

♡

-

“Is Changbin here so soon?” Jisung heard his mother ask, but he was already rushing to the door, knowing the best present he would receive that Christmas morning had just knocked on his grandmother’s front door.

“Binnie!” Jisung flung the door open and kept his arms up for a hug. Changbin stepped into him immediately, “Merry Christmas, Sungie.”

“Merry Christmas! We’re still eating, are you hungry?” Jisung asked.

“No, but I’ll help you clean up.” Changbin offered. He stepped inside and shut the front door, let Jisung attach himself to his arm. Changbin sat next to Jisung at the table, and greeted the two women at the table with a bow and an apology for arriving before they had even finished breakfast. Neither woman minded, but Jihyun was curious, “You eat breakfast so early?” and Changbin confirmed: “On Christmas, yes, my family loves to wake up extra early.”

Jisung watched his family speak to Changbin as he ate, a little absent-minded about his meal that morning despite his usual commitment to mindful eating. He was just so happy, holding Changbin’s hand under the table, listening to him interact with his family with so much ease, like he just fit right in. This meant a lot to Jisung. It was just three people sitting with him on a cold Christmas morning, but it was his three favorite people in the world treating each other with comfortable kindness, and he wanted this for the rest of his life.

“Han Jisung, this is the third grape you’ve dropped on your lap.” Changbin teased, holding a grape up and then placing it on a napkin on the table, where two other grapes lay already. Jisung blushed; he hadn’t even noticed he’d been knocking the grapes off of his plate as he clumsily went to scoop scrambled eggs into his mouth. He thanked Changbin for picking them up; Changbin just teased him for dropping them in the first place.

“We bought presents for you, by the way.” Jisung thought to mention, now that breakfast was coming to a close and his grandmother had just gotten up to wash her plate. Changbin’s mouth dropped open a little, his eyebrows shooting up, “What?”

“I told them your family doesn’t like to exchange gifts except for sending each other money sometimes, and grandma thought it would be really nice to include you in our gift-giving. You have four presents! One is from Santa, which means it’s from all three of us. That’s what ‘Santa’ gifts are: two of us getting a gift for the other person.” Jisung said. He could tell Changbin had no idea what to say, but he could also tell Changbin was really touched. Jisung pat his leg softly, “You’re part of the family, Bin.”

The way Changbin beamed and hugged him made Jisung incredibly happy, and he thought, of every Christmas he had experienced, this one was already his favorite.

-

♡

-

Changbin liked having Jisung with him on New Year’s. He was protective of Jisung, who hated loud noises and flashing lights — who hated thunderstorms and fireworks as a result. He liked to stand on his balcony and hold Jisung as the two of them enjoyed the midnight air with headphones plugged into Changbin’s laptop, watching a scary movie. That was their drinking game: a shot every time one of them got scared. They were both particularly jumpy, but Jisung always ended up a little more drunk, and a drunk Jisung was much better at handling loud noises and bright lights than a sober one. So, by the time all the fireworks started at midnight, their movie was over, and Jisung was swaying on his feet, and laughing in Changbin’s arms.

“You make life so much better.” Jisung said, laying his head against Changbin’s shoulder. It took Changbin a second to process the words, but they touched his heart when they finally filtered through his mind, and he tapped his hand against Jisung’s shoulder, playing a random rhythm against the pocket of his jeans. It took Changbin another second to respond, preoccupied with a song that was stuck in his head.

“You make life really beautiful.” Changbin decided to say, and Jisung kicked his shin softly, “Way to one-up me.”

“Get on my level.” Changbin snorted. Jisung rolled his eyes, and stood on the tips of his toes, “Get on _mine_.”

“Bite me.” Changbin said, slapping Jisung’s ass. Jisung held Changbin’s hand, and then actually bit down on two of his fingers. It wasn’t a hard bite, but it had Changbin jerking his hand away in response, with a little gasp, “You brat!”

“You told me to.” Jisung stated, shrugging his shoulders up like he was innocent. Changbin had enough of Jisung’s drunken idiocracy, and he waged a war of tickles that had the two of them rolling around on the balcony, barely avoiding knocking into Changbin’s laptop or knocking over the bottle of alcohol just next to it. They were breathless and messy by the time Jisung called mercy. Changbin was placed clumsily in Jisung’s lap, and their chests were heaving, but they were laughing all the same. Changbin held Jisung’s hands, and leaned over him, and asked, “Did you have fun tonight?”

“I always have fun with you.” Jisung said. He sat up, and he hugged Changbin tightly, “I’m going to miss you, you know.”

“What?” Changbin asked, feeling numb and panicked. His mind started to race, but Jisung spoke before his thoughts could get too far, “Felix wants me to go on this winter break trip with him. We want to go study in Malaysia. I got accepted, so ‘m gonna go with him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

The relief Changbin experienced in that moment was immense. He laughed out the rest of the panic that had built up in his chest, and he held onto Jisung like he’d never let go again. “Idiot. Don’t be sorry. I’m happy for you — how long will you be gone?”

“The entirety of break, starting Monday. So, three weeks. Not long, but I’ll still miss you.” Jisung said. “Will you FaceTime me?”

“Of course I will, nerd, but only sometimes. You have to go have fun, okay? Study hard, and sight-see. Bring me something cute.” Changbin said. Jisung nodded, “I’ll be sure to come back to you.”

Changbin wanted to call him a nerd, or retaliate in some other way, but his mind focused on how Jisung promised to come back to him, and he just hoped Jisung would keep that promise forever.

-

♡

-

Three weeks without Changbin should have been nothing, but it was oddly difficult. Jisung was so used to Changbin sneaking into his house at ass o’clock in the evening-bordering-morning. He was so used to meeting Changbin at one of the three houses they spent all their free time in and finding random things to do — some of them left up to tradition and routine, some of them just ideas that popped into their heads throughout the day. Nothing was boring with Changbin, and, granted, there wasn’t a boring moment Jisung spent with Felix in Malaysia, but he was in a brand new place with a brand new area of study to focus on and a brand new friendship he was expanding. Changbin was routine. Changbin was familiar. Changbin was _always_ , and yet he was forever interesting and new. Changbin was just effortlessly the light of Jisung’s life.

Maybe that’s why Jisung was _so_ damn excited to see him at the airport.

Jisung had called his mother to pick him and Felix up, given that Felix’s parents were also out-of-town on vacation and wouldn’t be returning until the next day. The conversation that Felix had had on the phone with his parents was kind of sweet, Jisung thought; his mother kept apologizing and apologizing and his father rushed to try to get a quicker flight home, but Felix insisted that it was perfectly okay, that he would be fine on his own, that he wouldn’t even mind if they took a longer vacation because he was an adult that could take care of himself. His mother whined about wanting to hear his stories, and his father just felt awful for not being able to greet Felix at the airport the way they always did, but Felix just laughed all of it off and promised it was okay.

It was sweet, Jisung thought, to see someone’s parents care about them so much. He had the same with his mother and his grandmother, but he knew plenty of people weren’t as fortunate. If he just looked at Changbin, for example….

Jisung was there to care for Changbin if his parents were. Changbin fit right into his family — _clearly_. Jisung’s mother had picked up Changbin on the way to the airport; he was standing there talking to Jihyun when Jisung spotted them. Jisung’s heart almost jumped out of his chest, excitement rocketing him through the crowd and directly into Changbin’s arms. Changbin took the sudden force like a champion, laughing as Jisung knocked the air out of his lungs. Jihyun rubbed her son’s back and teased, “I missed you, too, Sungie,” but Jisung just couldn’t force himself away from Changbin just yet. He was so shocked, and so excited, and he heard Jihyun and Felix tease him but he didn’t have a care in the world.

“I missed you.” Changbin muttered for Jisung and for Jisung only. Jisung finally detached himself, and said, “I missed you so much,” and he turned his attention to his mother, and hugged her, too, but went right back to Changbin, who mentioned that Jisung really needed to go get his bag before someone swiped it — that Felix needed to do the same. All four of them went to get Felix and Jisung’s bags, and they talked all the while; Felix and Jisung wondered what Changbin and Jihyun had been up to, but the two of them rejected talking about their “boring lives in Korea” in favor of listening to some stories of Malaysia. Felix had a lot to talk about — being the traveller, he was good at telling stories. Jisung just said his class was fun, the people were interesting, and the food was delicious. He was able to retell some of the words and phrases he had learned while he was there; Felix was able to recite a lot more. Together, the two had enough stories for the entirety of the airport, as well as the ride to Jisung’s place. (Jihyun insisted she feed all three of them lunch before taking anyone home.)

Lunch was a little bit of Malaysia, a little bit of _finally_ getting Changbin and Jihyun to talk about the past three weeks of their lives, and a whole lot of joking around and watching a movie. Jisung gravitated to Changbin, of course, while Jihyun got to know and love Felix, the way she knew and loved all of Jisung’s friends. Jisung had to admit he did feel a pang of guilt for not paying more of his attention to his friend and his mother, but he was always so drawn to Changbin, and no one in the world would expect his attention when Changbin was less than ten feet away from him. Anyone who knew Jisung knew that Changbin was his priority.

-

♡

-

Coming up on the end of basketball season, floating into graduation season, and Changbin had made the decision, once and for all, to make Jisung his.

Life was moving too fast. Pretty soon, all of his friends would float into graduate schools and careers and Changbin felt like he was being left behind, oddly enough. Chan talked and talked about going to Australia after graduation, and Changbin wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed there. Felix, always the traveler, wanted to spend his time in Thailand, and Hyunjin seemed committed to the idea of going with him. Jeongin wanted to stay in Korea, but he had an internship that would soon turn into a full-time job, and a full-time anything was the ultimate killer of free time and friendships. Seungmin, too, wanted to stay in Korea, but he thought he might travel around first, go to America, see what he could learn before he came back and settled down. Minho was already starting in his dance academy, and he was absolutely killing it, getting paid to dance for people who wanted to learn from the best of the best.

Changbin’s only constant was Han Jisung, and he figured he should actually make that official before something changed.

It was at the last basketball game of the season — of the _rest of their lives_ , perhaps, that Changbin pulled Jisung aside, just moments after Chan had scored the winning point for his and Felix’s team. Everyone was cheering, and most of their friends were there — Seungmin and Jeongin joining Jisung and Changbin on the benches, cheering Chan and Felix on.

Changbin wished he were a better friend, and could focus on the _incredible_ move Chan had just pulled, but he couldn’t, because Jisung was in the forefront of his mind, and he _needed_ to get his confession out.

"Jisung." Changbin said. His voice was calm, but his grip was not; he scrambled to hold Jisung's hand, keep him back for a moment as Seungmin and Jeongin rushed to congratulate Felix and Chan. Jisung didn’t mind stopping, and just looked at Changbin, never losing that excited smile.

"I want to tell you something, and I think I _have_ to do it now." Changbin started. He watched Jisung's expression transition smoothly from pure joy to confusion — but, still, his eyes held that excited spark, which gave Changbin just a tiny nudge of courage: "I'm too much of a coward to tell you this while we're alone. Trust me. I've been trying to spit it out for years."

"What's wrong?" Jisung asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just in love with you, Han Jisung."

Changbin wasn’t as brave as he thought, for he didn’t wait for a reaction. Instead, he immediately pulled Jisung along; he wanted the comfort of his friends as his nerves ate him alive, and Jisung’s skin burned to the touch. Changbin let Chan steal Jisung from him — watched Felix join them. The two basketball players swallowed Jisung in a hug, which had him shrieking and complaining about how sweaty they were. Changbin retreated a bit, standing next to Jeongin, watching the scene with fondness, and guilt. He was a coward.

"Pizza! Let's get pizza!" Felix said, stepping away from his group hug, letting Jisung breathe. Changbin gladly focused his attention on Chan, as the older exclaimed, "Pizza's on Changbin!" and he wildly protested the offer made on his behalf. The kids, though, took the offer and ran with it — and with Jisung, pulling him out of the gym and toward the parking lot, not letting him float back to Changbin.

"I'll pay." Chan said, slinging an arm over Changbin's shoulder. Changbin shrugged off the offer, but he kept Chan's comfort against his back. He asked, "You and Felix aren't staying for the pictures or the party?"

"Never do."

"Chan, I told him." Changbin spilled. Chan smiled proudly, "You did?"

"And then the kids stole him."

Chan laughed — loud and free into the cold night air just as the two had stepped out into it, "The moment you go to him, he's going to tell you he loves you, too."

Changbin didn't have any doubt anymore; the lack of any negative expression on Jisung's face had stripped all of his doubt away. "I know."

"Are you two _really_ going to go eat pizza in public while you're wearing your sweaty basketball uniforms? Gross," Seungmin said. The group had barely begun to walk, and he was already teasing. Felix went to him and hugged him, and Seungmin groaned and pushed him off. Their teasing resulted in the separation of Felix and Jisung, and the end of their conversation. Jisung went to Changbin.

They didn't speak. Jisung held one of Changbin's arms, and leaned against his shoulder, but he gave his attention to Jeongin, who called for it as soon as Jisung was near. Changbin didn't mind. He simply enjoyed the proximity between him and Jisung — five minutes of walking with the boy on his arm, and their friends loudly surrounding them.

The parlor was a bit quieter than the night, but the boys brought life into it. Felix and Jeongin made a beeline for the counter to stand on their toes and peer at the menu. Seungmin followed them, preoccupied by his phone for a moment. Chan directed Changbin and Jisung to find a table, and left the two alone. He joined the kids at the counter.

Jisung led the way. He chose the spot they had frequented since the shop opened eight years ago — just to the right of the door, where colorful and animated pizza decorations lined the wall. Instead of sitting, though, and scooting in to make room for the others, Jisung pulled Changbin into him, and they were hugging.

"I love you." Jisung said. Changbin held him tighter, his joy driving him as Jisung kept repeating, "I love you, Binnie. I _love_ you."

Changbin was _so_ happy; he could have cried, but he chose (with a decent amount of willpower) to keep his eyes dry and look at the boy who loved him back. Jisung did not have that same willpower to keep his eyes dry, or he didn't want to in the first place, but that was okay. He didn't have to cry alone; Changbin wasn't leaving him tonight, or ever.

-

♡

-

(Their first kiss was accompanied by blurry eyes and whispered giggles. They were laying on Jisung's couch, and Jisung had just confessed to being in love with Changbin for six years. His eyes got teary when Changbin told him he couldn't remember a time he _wasn't_ in love with Jisung— except for that faint memory of the two meeting on the first day of school. Even then, Jisung was special; Changbin wouldn't have begged the teacher to let him sit by "the prettiest boy my young eyes have ever _seen!_ " otherwise.)


End file.
